Mixed Emotions

Happy Tuesday!! Well, I made it to, and through, my dental appointment. It was better than I thought it would be. They allowed and encouraged me to listen to music in my headphones during the drilling and that made a world of difference. I will be making a dental appt playlist for my future appointments!!

Nothing else is new - I didn't each much last night after I got home and ended up going to bed early. The numbness wore off at about midnight and I woke up and then couldn't get back to sleep. Needless to say, I will be sleeping good tonight!!

I had a NSV (Non-scale Victory) this morning! I put on a skirt that I bought several months ago and haven't worn recently, and it was too big!! The numbers may not be going down, but something's moving!!

Anywho, hope everyone has a great Tuesday!!

Hugs!

I need a boost!

Another weekly weigh in and no changes. At least I'm not up any. I have been really increasing my movement and trying to increase my water and nothing is changing.

Last week was pretty good to me. I can't complain - well, I could, but who's listening anyways? Work is good; it's always good, I love my job. If you remember, I work a large University and the summer is over, so the Fall is starting soon and I look forward to meeting new people.

I got to have a girls night out with my best girlfran on Friday night - boy I sure needed it! There's something about spending time and chatting just girl talk! No pressure, just good (almost) clean fun! If you ever want to know more about yourself, just have someone you know and care about (a girlfriend) help describe you - having someone else's perspective of me really helped.

The rest of my weekend was pretty uneventful. My son was away at his Dad's, so I enjoyed the peace and quiet. This brings us to Monday - grrrrr. I have a dental appointment this afternoon and the dread has my band so tight that I can hardly eat anything. I'm a mess and big baby when it comes to the dentist. If only they would give me a Valium or Xanex before hand, then I wouldn't care what they did - lol.

On my 'getting a life' front, I'm diving head first into the dating scene. Progress: Nada, zilch, zero, nuthin'. On that note, I've started reading Fifty Shades of Grey series again. Makes it even more worse being single! ;-)

Anywho, I hope everyone has a fabulous Monday!! Fingers crossed that I don't pass out at the dentists, and that my dating profile is full of emails from handsome gentlemen callers! ;-)

Hugs!

Does it ever get any easier?

Does it ever get any easier? "It" being: Figuring out what to eat? Getting back on track when thrown off track? Getting back on track after purposely going off track? Dating as a newly skinny person? Dating in general? I'm finally somewhat comfortable in my own skin and think I'm ready to get out there, but geesh it's hard.

As my 36th birthday approaches ( in November), I am realizing that I'm where I want to be, totally, yet. I'm happier than I've ever been, and don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my progress and very proud of myself, but there are aspects of my life that I thought would be different at this age.

I thought that I'd be happily married (again) by now. I thought that I'd be further in my education. I thought I'd be somewhere other than I am. Honestly, I thought I'd still be fat, but that has changed, so I suppose that everything else has to change along with being heavy.

People say that I should just be happy and that 'it will come' but I've been happy, and waiting and darn it, it ain't here yet.

Is there anyone out there that is single? or in a new relationship? Any advice? I've been out of the dating scene for quite a few years and need to learn the rules.  Like in particular, I've been told by several guy friends that you don't message guys first, like on dating websites - is that true?

Anyways, sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, I've just realized that I'm not quite where I want to be and need some advice on how to get there.

Thanks ladies and I hope you have a fabulous day!!

Hugs!

Ugh...what to eat, what to eat and mini TTT

I'm so bored with food. I've learned that food is just fuel but deciding what to eat is the worst. I wait until I'm starving and then I make really bad decisions, or eat too fast and get hiccups. What do you eat?

I've gotten a lot of good suggestions from my WLS's nurse, but they aren't feasible for my schedule, and also, yogurt is often on the list and I can't STAND yogurt. I've tried just about every 'make and model' and none of them are good to me. Can you ladies share with me what you eat on a daily basis? I need some good ideas.

Thanks in advance!

Also, I'm going to start my weekly weigh in's again this Sunday. AND I'm gonna take some new pics in the bathing suit that I started out with - I'm curious to see how much I've 'grown'.

Hope everyone has a great Thursday!! Speaking of Thursday, here's a short and sweet TTT (ten things Thursday).

1. I'm hungry.
2. Only 39 days until school starts again.
3. I need to go clothes shopping - anyone have any 12-14's they've outgrown?
4. Wow, I wear a 12-14!
5. I love coffee.
6. I love fancy creamers in my coffee.
7. I'm hungry.
8. I think I need to find something to eat.
9. Squirrel!
10. Happy Thursday Y'all!!

Hugs!

Another day....

I'm feeling much better today! Yesterday, I wasn't doing well - perhaps it was not eating solid foods but I was feeling kinda lightheaded and faint. Luckily that has passed and I am feeling like myself again!

I don't really have a lot to say about last night and so far today, but I wanted to blog something so that I can get back in the habit of blogging again. It really helped me in my journey thus far, and as I'm approaching my 2 year bandiversary, I'm hoping to get closer to my goal by then.

I will leave you with some motivation for the day! Talk again soon!! xoxo

Two in one day - Whaaa?

Ok, so, while I was at my surgeon's office yesterday, he showed me a picture from three days before my surgery. Whoa - I was blown away. I cannot believe how far I've come! It really helped me to put things in perspective, as to how far I really have come vs how far I have yet to go.

What do you think?

I'm baaaaccckkkkkkkkkk (hopefully!)

I'm back. Officially, gone over the edge, back. I have had enough of being off track. I'm ready to get back on track and on with my life. I haven't done a weekly weigh-in in a while, and it shows. I had an appt. with my surgeon for a fill yesterday, so this is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm back, with a vengeance.

08/22/2011: 299.9 (first consult with surgeon)
10/06/2011: 284 (weight at surgery date)
08/26/2012: 215.6
09/15/2012: 212.8
07/08/2013: 206.4
Loss: -6.4 pounds!
Total Loss: 93.5

I had made it to One-derland around Christmas time, but between graduating from college, and well, life in general, I have fallen off the wagon and have gained a few pounds back. I haven't lost a new pound in a while. I did way better when I was blogging my journey because the accountability was greater.

I also know that there a few local lovies that follow me and since we have lost track, I don't feel their love as much; so here's hoping that their love returns soon!! ;-)

Anywhoozle, let me back up a bit. The last time I blogged was wayyyy back in March. A lot has happened since then. Spring Break was the last week in March and my best girlfriend and I took our boys to Orlando for a couple days; we found this great resort that was near Downtown Disney and was just enough Disney exposure to not actually have to go to Disney. We were going towards the beach, but it was too cold. We hit St. Augustine instead and had a blast. It doesn't really matter where we go, or what we do, we always have fun!

 In April, after it warmed up a bit, we headed to the beach, finally! It was my friend's birthday and we surprised the boys with the trip! Super fun! I love surprising the kiddos!

Then, in the end of April, I ran a Mud Run 5k with another Banded friend and her cousin! It was such a blast!! It was a Women's Only run and the money went towards breast cancer research and treatments!

In May, the karate company that my son goes to had a Mother's Day class every Wednesday during the month, as a thank you for the Mom's. My best girlfran was the teacher - total bonus! We kicked total butt and I'm seriously considering joining myself. Since I'm no longer a gym rat ($$), I think this might work out!

In June, my same friend and her hubby celebrated 10 years, so we went around St Augustine taking pics of them for their Anniversary. We had so much fun!

This brings us up to July. The first day of July, we had a Girls and Guns night with a bunch of girls from work. It was so much fun and empowering!

Then, this past weekend, July 7 was my baby boy's 10th birthday! I can't believe he is in the double digits already! We had a Lego Block party and it was a huge success! Also, we had some photo booth fun and it was a hit with the kids and adults!

This brings me up to date. Thanks, in advance, for sticking around. I really need your help with some accountability. Talking to you all has helped me so much and I feel that lagging behind on my blogging has been part of my problem as well.

Hugs! Talk soon!

Just need to find the time.

I just need to find the time, even if only for 15 minutes per day, to check in with you lovely's. I have been so busy with life and everything else, and so much of it I want to share, but for some stinkin' reason, I can't find the time to sit down and tell you about it. The last couple of weeks have been filled with things that didn't get done while I was in school and then I just rested - seriously - like there was no tomorrow. I was also running more often than going to the gym so that I could run my 5k, which I did this past weekend. Whew - it was so much fun, but it was soooo cold. But, it was so fun and invigorating that I've already signed up for another one for April. (I will post some pics before I leave!)

On the LapBand front, I haven't lost a single (new) pound in over a month. I've hit a plateau and it sucks. I haven't been able to see my surgeon because I've had a balance on my account, but I just received my tax refund so it's paid off and I have an appointment to see him on 4/1 - I'm so excited!! I can't decide if I want an actual fill, or maybe just a slight adjustment. I'm still getting stuff stuck, but not near like I used too. I'm hoping a teeny-tiny fill will be just what the doctor ordered.

On another front, I'm finally getting some work done on my teeth. I've found out during my journey that I've had a Vitamin D deficiency my whole life and it has really taken a toll on my teeth. I also have serious dental/dentist anxiety, so that hasn't helped either. So, I found a dentist that I like in the town where I work and I am getting some work done. I will have some teeth pulled and get a partial denture, which is better than what I was thinking - I was thinking that I was going to have to get them all pulled, etc. But the dentist said that I still had some good teeth, and that she didn't recommend dentures, whew. I go this week for my partial impressions and then I see the oral surgeon on Monday for the few that need the be pulled. Between that and my fill in a few weeks, I think it just might jump start my loss again. (fingers crossed).

Well, I will leave you a few pics from the Mud/Foam 5K run that I completed this past weekend, and I will ask that you pray/chant/send good vibes that the dental-fairy will be nice to me.

Hugs!!

Before!

Killin the Wall!

My dirty everything!

Killing another wall!!

Loved the Cargo Wall!!

After!!

(I'm not as dirty because I opted out of the stomach crawl through mud, under an electrified wire - I really like my LB and didn't want to take any chances on melting it! ;-)

Ok - dark and deep - need some advice!

Ok, so, I don't know how many of you lovely ladies out there in Blogger land are single, but I am. I have been divorced for over 5 years and now that I'm more comfortable with myself, I've decided to join the dating pool and join a dating website. With that said, this world is full of huge douche bags!

But here is where I need your help. My brain hasn't caught up with the changes that my body have been through and I still feel like the fatty I once was. I still think that there is only one way to 'keep' a man's attention, and then once I give them my 'attention', they don't call back. I've always had a low self-esteem, and I thought for sure that once I lost my weight and felt better about myself, that the esteem would rise. It. has. not. yet.

Now, I'm not looking for a pity party, full of you are too good for that, etc., because I know that already. I'm looking for a list of rules to follow. I'm good with lists and rules, I just need to know what to do and what not to do. Make sense?

I'm considering going back into therapy to help with this, but I can't afford to really, and the woman that I was seeing, no longer accepts my insurance and I feel that I would have to start over again.

So, please help me. Give me some great rules to live by, for the dating world. How to suppress my fat-girl mentality?

Thanks, in advance, for all your love and assistance in this matter; I wouldn't want to imagine my life without all of you!!

Hugs! Have a great day!

Member of the Month

Here I am, again, another week without a single blasted blog. Ugh. Life is so busy and I have so much to say, just can't seem to find the time to sit down and say it. If only I had a little more energy. Now that school is over, I feel like a giant blob of nerves with nothing to do - when in fact, there are ton of fun things that I could do, but don't. Eh, I suppose I'm still in the honeymoon phase of graduation - I will get back in the swing of things soon enough.

Anywho, I have some deep subjects that I want to talk about (I will create another post for it), but before I get all depressed and deep, I wanted to share with you a NSV!! I have made Member of the Month at my Gym - the person that hated the gym just over a year ago, is now member of the month!! I can't get the article to save into a format to post here, so I'll just paste the words. Here goes:

This month’s Member of the Month story features Heather *****. Heather is a single mom and a full time college student -with a very busy schedule. Heather is about to graduate with an AA in Paralegal Studies (congratulations Heather!!).

 

And with that said, here’s a fun fact for all you readers….Heather will graduate wearing a dress that is smaller than what she could fit into in Middle School. Better keep reading because you will see, our pal Heather is not your average single mom/full time college student.

 

On October 5^th, 2011, Heather had lap band surgery. Motivated to get rid of the chronic pain that she felt in her joints and to get healthy for her son and herself, she made up her mind she needed to change her life, and that she did. After having a bone scan to rule out other medical conditions and undergoing a psychological evaluation, our single mom/full time college student decided it was time to lose the extra weight.

 

Now, you must know, lap band surgery is no joke. In order to be a candidate for lap band surgery (a procedure where a band is placed around the top portion of the stomach in an effort to slow the consumption of food, ultimately leading to eating less food), a person must have a Body Mass Index (BMI) of greater than or equal to 40 or a BMI of 35-40 with at least one additional co-morbid condition.

 

So, topping the scales at 5'7" / 299 lbs, Heather’s starting BMI of 47 made her an applicable candidate for the surgery. The lap band surgery does not come without risks and it is not a magic pill to weight loss either. Heather knew all this going into the procedure, and although it would be a helpful tool, she knew the lap band was not a cure all for her weight management problems. Says Heather, “It is not a magic bullet. The doctor does not just put the band in and all the weight falls off. Some people think I cheated (nay-sayers) but no, you have to change your ways and I did and I'm not going back. Nothing comes free.”

 

This is the type of attitude that leads to success. Being realistic, knowing that you have to put in some hard work, and make some permanent life style changes in order to see results are all parts of the recipe that helped Heather succeed. With her hard work, consistency, determination, and perseverance Heather has seen her BMI drop from 47 to 31.2. That's an OMG members!

 

 That's a loss of over 100 lbs since her journey to better health began back in August , 2011. Today, Heather is only 20 lbs away from her long term goal of 180 lbs that she spoke of the day she joined FFL Fitness Center.

 

Having a lower BMI not only indicates that Heather’s fitness level is improving but it also means that our friend is at a much lower risk for developing cardiovascular diseases and diabetes (yay!).

 

So how did she do it? Heather began to make small changes to her lifestyle in order to produce weight loss. “You have to pay attention to what you eat and when you eat it,” says Heather. She started coming to Fit For Life where she followed the routine that Monica prescribed for her for six months. Says Heather, "I started from ground zero. At the beginning of my journey, I was doing two minutes on the elliptical. Now, doing thirty minutes plus on the elliptical on a regular basis is no problem. Even more inspiring, during this interview, Heather was pumping it on the elliptical the entire time! That’s right, our two minute elliptical user has now progressed to the point where she can hammer on the elliptical AND talk for half an hour (amazing!).

 

At first, Miss Heather was slightly apprehensive about the gym. She was intimidated by the thought of the gym and wasn’t so sure she wanted to be a regular gym goer. However, this quickly changed. “Coming to Fit For Life made me realize I could lose the weight. The pain of being overweight far outweighed the pain of coming to the gym. The gym also helped me because it is a lot easier not to eat junk like cookies when you realize how much time and physical activity is required to work off those calories.”

 

Heather also started going to support group meetings. These meetings help her relate to other people going through similar journeys. She now follows forty to fifty women who blog about their fitness journeys. On these blogs, Heather and her fellow bloggers share tips, stories, experiences, and advice with each other. Having a strong support group truly helps her stay determined and on track.

 

Now, coming to the gym and blogging with other women are not the only things that helped Heather change her life. She also started walking more, drinking more water, fitting in small bouts of physical activity during her busy days, and tracking her food consumption with the “My Fitness Pal” App, and started to monitor her activity with a little gadget called a FitBit. (Check it out on http://www.fitbit.com).

 

Being a single mom and full time college student, Heather has limited time to exercise. She cannot just pop into the gym for several hours. Momma Heather began to incorporate fitness into her and her son’s daily routines. They started to go on bike rides outdoors, walk to her son’s karate classes twice a week, and if she was hungry, Heather would first drink lots of water and if she still wasn’t satisfied she would have a protein bar for a ‘boost’. Heather also slowed down while she ate. She did not eat so quickly that she practically swallowed her food whole, but instead, chewed each bite making sure she was savoring the taste of her meal.

 

Incorporating fitness into her and her son’s daily routine helps her get fit without the guilt of missing time with her son because she's at the gym. Another tool this multi-tasking pro uses to help motivate her along the way are pictures. Heather has taken pictures of herself every day for a year. She keeps these photos so she can track her journey and now looks back on them as often as possible to remind her how far she’s come.

 

After all of her hard work, one would think it is tempting to relax and slip back into old habits, but no way for our gal Heather. You see, Heather has a very high-tech, reliable way of making sure she is staying on track…..her son’s hugs! Heather can see her progress by how her son’s arms fit around her when he hugs her. Now that is very sweet and most worthy of putting in print.

 

She also stays on track by planning and running 5K races (that’s 3.16 miles folks!). That’s right, you read that correctly. Miss Heather recently ran her first 5K race ever. She used the “Couch to 5K” App to help her prepare for her first race (what a good way to put technology to use!). She didn’t run the entire time but she finished the race which brought her a sense of self accomplishment and pride. “I saw the finish line and I ran through it. I thought I’d have to cross it on a stretcher, but no, I did it!” Heather said. The feeling of accomplishment she got from finishing that 5K has inspired her to run another one (The Foam Fest 5K in March). Running two 5K races in one year is something she would have, “never, ever considered until now.” 

Run Heather, run!!!

 

So what can we all learn from Heather’s inspirational story? Determination, hard work, and perseverance pay off! Says Heather, "The weight loss journey that totally changed my life did not happen overnight."  It wasn’t one huge change that she made, but a series of many little adjustments to her daily life. You may be asking, is it really worth it? When we asked Heather if she regretted anything her answer was, “Even if I was having a bad day I would do it all over again a hundred times!!” So, is it really worth it? You decide!

 

The past few weeks have been a blur!

Again, I apologize for my absence from the Blog world. The last few weeks have been busy with preparing for and taking an exam that goes along with all of the schooling that I have been taking for the past 20 months of my life. The exam was hard core and was eight hours long over two days. It was hell. During the weeks prior to studying for this exam, I feel like I was unable to eat anything - I was constantly getting stuck and it became increasingly more frustrating.

SO - now that my apology, followed by excuses, are out there, here's the wrap up of the last few weeks. The week between Christmas and New Years, my family and I visited the mountains, where my son and I saw snow for the first time ever!! It was absolutely amazing and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. With that said, I would not EVER want to live in it and I have a ton of respect for those of you who live in the regions that have snow all the time.

This was near New Found Gap in TN.

After I returned from vacation, I began studying for the test from hell. Once that was done, I was done-done. No more testing for me, for a while at least. I'm seriously considering going back for another degree soon - why not, right?! I can do it! I just want to take a break and spend some serious quality time with my son and help him get back on track with his school, etc. I feel like the last 20 months have really taken a toll on him and I want him to know how much I appreciate his patience with me. He's 9 - patience isn't a virtue at this age yet. 

This past Saturday, January 26, I graduated from College. At 35, I was finally able to finish what I started so long ago. I was able to share the day with my closest family and one of the greatest friends I have come to know. Along my journey, specifically the last 20 months, I have lost a few friends and gained a few friends. Some people weren't as patient and couldn't wait for me to finish my goal and therefore they had to go. I truly have one (new) friend that has been the most genuine, non-judgmental person that I have ever come into contact with in my entire life. If only she were a man, I'd marry her! (I tried to convince her to switch teams, but it was a no-go). 

In addition, I have all of you ladies that follow my blog, my friends that actually know me and follow my blog, and you all have been a super supportive environment for me and for that I am forever grateful. Without having a place that I could turn to and spew my most weakest moments, knowing that most of you have been through the same journey and have survived, helped me to keep chugging along.

So, as I have pledged in my last few blogs, episodes of apologizing and promises of more time with you all, I am BACK!!! Thanks for your forever patience!!

I leave you with some pics from my graduation. The dress that I graduated high school in (16+ years ago) was a size 24. The dress I'm wearing in these pics: 14!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

I know that it's been almost a month since my last post and for that, I am terribly sorry. The past month has been a whirlwind! I finished my last semester of school on 12/14 and has finals and final projects due the two weeks prior, so I was studying for those, etc. BUT, apparently all the hard work paid off because this girl right here is graduating next month WITH HONORS!!! I am so happy to be just graduating and to be graduating with honors is a huge accomplishment. I decided right after going to school that WLS was for me and I've never been known to just take 'one thing at a time' so, during my third semester of school, I had my surgery. That semester was my only one with no A, but they were all B's, so I'd say that's pretty good too! I don't walk until January, but I feel so much happier without having the homework and finals weighing me down anymore (pun intended!).

This month, the 16th, was also the birthday of  a dear friend who passed away in May, at the young age of 44. It was much harder than I thought it would be. He's no longer in any pain anymore, but he's not here with me either. Losing him really hit home, because if he had taken better care of himself sooner than later, he would still be here with me.

Then, there is little holiday called Christmas that I have actually been able to enjoy. The day after Christmas, my parents, my son and I are heading North to the Smokey Mountains. We rented a cabin for a week and we are hoping for snow. My son and I have never seen snow! I've had to do some shopping for some new clothes, warm clothes too and I haven't purchased anything larger than a 16. I was 26-28 when I had surgery - I haven't worn a size 16 since middle school.

On that note, today's weigh in was a HUGE goal for me. I've hit the 100 pound loss mark - which also puts me into ONEDERLAND!!! So, I'm walking in a Winter Onderland this year!! And I couldn't have done it without the love and support of my family, my son, my friends and all of you lovely ladies! My New Year's resolution is to start blogging more often. I have so much to say and just haven't had the time to sit down and put it all into words!!

I wish everyone the best of holiday season, whichever holiday you celebrate!

Hugs to all!!

Here's some more recent pics:

2010                   2011                 2012

Thanksgiving, etc.

The past couple of days have been a pure blur. It started off at work last week with a short week, which they always seem to be longer for some reason. My birthday was this past Friday (11/23) and they threw me a little party at work with a HUGE cookie cake (my kryptonite) and my students gave me a tiara - they are so funny!

Then, I left work early on Wednesday so that I could get in a good workout before the long weekend and the gym decided to close early too. So, I went home and took a nap and it was FABULOUS!! lol

Then, Thanksgiving came and went and it was wonderful. Having my parents, my big bro and his wife and my son all together, eating dinner around the big table was just wonderful. I am so thankful for my family. Then, we sat around looking through Black Friday ads, with no intention of going shopping, just wishful thinking. Then, on Friday, the big day, we got up and my wee little man fixed me breakfast in bed, and then he took me on a movie date (with my bro and sis in law). We saw the Rise of the Guardians - CUTE movie!! I thoroughly enjoyed it and will be purchasing it when it comes out. We then went to our local steakhouse for my lunch. There, they brought me a brownie the size of my head. I had a few bites and it was DELISH!!

My Weeman and Me!

Then, I had to let my son go to his Dad's for the weekend, which saddened me but then I realized that I could do a little shopping without him(for him), which I enjoyed. While I was out shopping, girlfriend of mine called and asked if she could take me out to dinner for my birthday and I said absolutely!! Not having to cook all day - I was in heaven. She took me to Carrabba's, and I'm pretty sure that they lace their oil and spices mixture with crack because it is soooo good. I nibbled on a little bread, first time in a long time. It was good, but not worth overdoing it and getting stuck. 

Making a wish!!!

Then, Saturday I spent most of the day doing homework and then my brother and sister in law took me out on a little shopping excursion and then out to dinner. Whew, I won't be eating out again in a long time; I've had my fill of dining out for a while!

All in all, it was the MOST fabulous weekend that I have had in a LONG time. Now comes the countdown of the year = the number of days until I finish my school, Christmas, Winterbreak Vacation and then my actual graduation. I'm so excited, I could just spit!!

Hugs to all and I hope you had a fabulous Thanksgiving weekend also!!

November Thankfulness

I have been posting on my personal Facebook page, everyday, the things that I am thankful for. While I won't bore you with all of those things, the one thing I will share with you, that I won't with Facebook, is that I am thankful for each and everyone of you wonderful ladies that follow my blog! Especially the ones that take the time to comment and give me some of the best advice. I know, without a doubt, that I wouldn't have made it as far as I have, without all of you and for that, I am thankful.

Hugs and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Mobile blogging

I have just uploaded the new Blogger app so that hopefully I can blog more often, like when I'm sitting in traffic or at Karate with my son. So, today is a good day. I feel pretty good about myself and looking back at the pictures from before and now, really helps. I also had a few of my current students looking over my shoulder when I was looking at the comments on my blog and they saw the pictures and they were literally blown away. They had no idea the change that I have gone through.

On the school front, I'm so so so happy to be almost finished. So happy I could spit, LOL.

On the running front, I'm considering running another 5k that "escorts" our local Christmas parade. It is in like a month, so I have time to prepare and/or decide.

Well, that's all for now. Let's see how this post goes.

Hugs!

Checking in, almost there!! I can see the light!

I'm just checking in. I know that it's been almost several weeks since my last post, but I've been a busy little beaver. First things, last month I celebrated my one-year bandiversary! I'm now at my 13th Month Bandiversary! I took my measurements again and boy was I surprised! I've lost 33.5 inches and 93.9 so far in my journey. I haven't got much more to go until I hit the maintenance part, which I think I already have down pat, because I haven't been moving much on the scale lately. I have been training for an 'almost 5k' and since I've never run, ever, in my life, except to the bathroom and the phone, training has been interesting. I've been using the C25K app on my phone and have been training three times a week for the past 5 weeks. And, well, this past weekend, my friend and I ran the race and we kicked it's ass. While I wasn't able to run the entire time, I did run/walk and finished it. Just finishing it was a feeling like I'll never forget. I'm going to keep going and try for a 5k next.

 RAWR!!!

 YAY!!!

Not looking too shabby afterwards!

Now, let me give you a few numbers that are important to me right now:


11 = # of days until my birthday!! Big #35
27 = # of pounds to go until I hit my goal!!
32 = # of days until I finish my school!!
42 = # of days until Christmas!!
43 = # of days until I leave for my graduation present vacation in the mountains!!
74 = # of days before I walk down the aisle and become a college graduate!!
93 = # of pounds gone so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emotional Roller-Coaster - Stop the World, I want to get off.

Please forgive my absence. The last couple of weeks have been an emotional roller-coaster ride. I'm not sure why the last couple of weeks have been more emotional than the others, but I've been having a rough time. First, with getting stuck more often than before, really puts me in a Debbie Downer mood. Work has been crazy, with lots of emotions there. Then, there are the 5 Classes and 120 hour Internship that I am doing for school, which while this is my last quarter, with just over 8 more weeks until I graduate, I'm not sure that I'm going to remain sane the entire time.

Also, I have a few friends, well, really one in particular, that is going through a really hard time right now and while I'm (usually) always there for her, I feel that I cannot be there right now. We had a huge blowout and my feelings were really hurt and I can't seem to move past it. Then, I have a dirt-bag ex-husband that finds ways of making my life miserable, as well as a co-worker with the same traits. Then, I have my son, who while he is the apple of my eye, he's also the ulcer growing in my stomach. He is having a hard time in school, and I feel to blame, because I'm so busy with my work and school work, that I feel that I am not giving him the time he needs and deserves.

I'm also trying to train for a 2 mile run, and I'm just not progressing like I thought I would/should. I'm dying after only a few minutes and can't seem to get any better.

Anywho, while trying to make it seem like everything is fine and dandy on the outside, I feel that my soul is dying a slow and painful death. However, with that said, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, most days. I have come a long way and damn it, nothing is going to stop me now. I have just over 8 weeks left until I finish school (12/16), just over 4 weeks until my run, just under 6 weeks until my birthday, which is when I hope to hit 'One-derland'. Then, as a graduation present, I'm going on vacation to the mountains for an entire week. We rented a cabin in the mountains of NC, across the street from a river and I plan on fishing that river everyday with my son and hope and pray that the time together will make up for the previous 11 weeks before hand, during my insane last quarter of school.

On the upside, I have a (fairly) new friend that isn't a close friend, but close enough that she can 'see' what I'm going through and seems to know exactly what to say and when to say it, to keep me going. She has only known me since I started my Lap-Band journey, so she only knows the current struggles that I've been through, but there is just something about her that makes me smile.

Well, enough pity party for one day; I'm off to finish some homework. I hope to do an official weigh-in this weekend, followed by an update of how my running is going - hopefully, it will be a cheerier post than this one.

Hugs!!

Happy One Year Bandiversary to Meeeee!!!

I know that it's been like forever since I've posted and I am truly sorry about that. The last few weeks have been rough. I've been getting stuck a lot and hadn't quite figured out why. I did the liquids and mushies for a week and seemed to be better, but then I had a few bad days and I was back to being stuck again. I've determined that when I have a bad day or two in a row, I need to take it easy for a few to make up for it. Between my ex and money issues, stress is plentiful these days.

Ok - back to the positive! I haven't 'officially' done a weigh in, but I HAVE been keep track on My Fitness Pal (momojj1123) if you want to 'follow' me! I also have started preparing for a 'marathon' (2 miles, not 26) but it's the first time I've EVER considered running while not being chased by something! The University that I work for has a HUGE Homecoming Parade and they have a huge 2 mile run that is in front of the parade, so I signed up for that, with one of my former students who as been instrumental in  my entire journey, and we are both at the 'same' starting point. We are about the same height and now weight and have both started the C25K program to help us with the 2 mile run. After that, who knows, I might go for the 5k next!

Also, as you know, I take pictures every day on my monthly anniversary (day before or day of) of my surgery and so I took some and they are posted below. I was AMAZED at the difference. Anytime that I feel down on my luck or didn't lose much or I lose hope of the end results, I look back at where I came from and it just renews my since of being! That's the ONLY way that I look back!!

Thank you ALL for your support over the last year, you all are amazing and I wouldn't have been as successful without each and everyone of you and your kind words. I read all of your blogs daily, and while I don't comment often, now that the interface has changed and I can comment while reading them on my Kindle Fire, I will be commenting more!!

One more thing, I just started my last quarter of school - 5 classes and a 120 hour internship - all in 11 weeks, not to mention the typical every day duties: full time job, single mom, parents live with me, etc!! YIKES!!  I should probably just stick to liquids for the next 11 weeks, cause I'm sure I'll be sinking in stress!

BTW, Congrats Reuby! I can't wait to see the ring!!

also, check back tomorrow for my 'final' 1 yr weigh in and measurements - I just got back home from being at an out of town conference for work and I'm wiped!

Hugs!!

and ONE more just to 'bring it home'

Weekly Weigh in and Stuck like Chuck!

Weekly Weigh in: (This is my 49th week! 3 more weeks and I'm 1 year out!)

08/22/2011: 299.9 (first consult with surgeon)
10/06/2011: 284 (weight at surgery date)
08/26/2012: 215.6
09/15/2012: 212.8
Loss: -2.8 pounds!
Total Loss: 87.1

Well, I'm three weeks from my 1 yr anniversary and not as close to my 100 pound loss goal as I wanted to be, but I am OKAY with that!! I have busted my ass for the last year and am feeling fantastic and that is ALL that matters!! My 1 yr anniversary happens to fall on a weekend that I will be at the beach for a conference for work and will enjoy anniversary in style!!

I'm still getting stuck more than 'usual', so I've made an appointment with my Dr, but it isn't until next month; so, I've decided to try the pouch test, having liquids for a day, then mushies, then soft foods, etc., to see if my pouch is irritated for some reason. Also, the stress of school is 'over' for two weeks and then I start my last, very last quarter, so the two might help a lot. I'm just praying that it's irritated and stressed and that it's not something 'else'. I'm too close and have come too far....I can't even say it. Nevermind.

SO, I'm still open to any advice that you can give me re: my stuck like chuck position!

I hope you all have a great week!! Hugs!!

PS - Rueben, I miss you like crazy! I hope your new job is working out...I'm also wondering about Europe!

I need your help

I know that I haven't been a good blogger lately, but I really need some advice. I've been getting 'stuck' an awful lot lately. Like, sometimes it hurts-stuck, major 'sliming' and almost to the point of vomiting-stuck. I've never gotten stuck this many times in a row before. I tried to keep track of it to see if it was a particular food or time of day or where I'm sitting when I eat and there's not anything that I can think of that is causing it.

Could it be my bra? Seriously - I wear an underwire bra and I've heard that sometimes it causes pressure on your liver, which pushes on the band - could this be?

What do you suggest I do? Now, don't get me wrong, there are some times that I don't get stuck - so I'm not stuck all the time, but more than I used to be. I have been a little overly-stressed because it's the end of the quarter at school, and I've been having really busy and overwhelmed at work some.

PLEASE give me your advice. What should I do? Should I do liquids for a few days to see if that helps? Change the food? Anything that you have tried that worked!?

BTW - I did call and make an appt with my Dr, but it isn't until 10/8.

Thanks, in advance, for your wisdom! I will be blogging more often now that I'm finished with this quarter of school!

Hugs!