Monday, January 30, 2012

STUCK!!!

Well, I think that I have officially had my first "stuck-age". I was out to lunch to celebrate a co-workers retirement, eating a roast chicken sandwich sans the bread and then all of a sudden I got this really weird sensation, like something was stuck. I didn't have the sliming or anything, and I was surrounded by people so I tried not to panic. I then, instinctively picked up my drink to take a drink and then I almost dropped it, I put it down so fast and thought to myself that drinking would make it worse.

I've never had enough restriction to feel something stuck, so this was a new experience. I didn't eat anything else and I just sat straight back in my chair and just took deep breaths quietly until it passed.

Any advice on this ladies??

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Weigh in Day and Party Day

08/22/2011:   299.9 (first consult with surgeon)
01/23/2012:   251.2
01/28/2012:   249.8
Loss           -1.4 pounds
Total loss:     50.1 pounds






Oh yeah, and I'm throwing my Dad a Surprise Party for his 75th Birthday today. Will be a great party, I can hardly wait!!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Changes

I have so many changes going on in my life. I'm physically and emotionally changing. There are a lot of changes going on at my job; so many people have retired that now I'm the boss. I'm having to assume so many new responsibilities, which I accept because I've needed some serious change for a long time. For the last couple of big changes in my life, divorced, married, child born, divorced again, I have gotten a tattoo to help commemorate the big changes in my life. I have one tattoo on one calf and I have a charm bracelet tattoo around my left ankle that I've added charms too, as things have happened in my life.

SO, with all that said, I have decided that I need to add another permanent reminder of the current big change that I am going through.

I have a few ideas, but could use some encouragement.....anyone have any ideas for me??

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

My Second Fill

Welp, it's over. The second fill was nothing compared to my first one. This one, I felt like he was in and out, literally. I got high-fives for my weight loss! Then, when he was pushing for my port, he found it quickly, and was "in" the first try! Then he put in an additional 1.2 cc's for a total of 2.8 cc's. But, he did say for me to not dwell on the numbers, because everyone is different. So, I went home and took a nap after my appointment, because I had a really bad headache again. Not sure if it was from tension or from my changing of meds, but either way, I was hurting. Then, after I woke up, I felt fine. I felt like I had been punched in the gut, which I suppose is sorta what happened. He did tell me that in a few more months, it won't be as hard to find because there won't be much fat around it! That made me feel better!

Then, I started on my clear liquids (which I really don't like), and had my broth for dinner and then I started contemplating not doing the whole 2 days of clear first. I will just play it by ear and see what my body does and what it tells me.

So, I started off this am with a protein shake and all was well. Then another mid morning, still all okay. Then some tomato soup for lunch, still ok - but I'm still hungry. I was hoping that a fill would keep me from being hungry. So, I'll continue the full liquids tonight and start on mushies tomorrow. At this stage in the game, I kinda know what to expect, except for when it comes to solids...they might come a little slower.

But, today has been an overall crappy day. I'm hungry, sore belly, bad headache, busy at work, feeling the mood swings from the change of meds, just not one of my best days. Thinking about leaving work a little early to hit the gym - I need to work off some frustrations!!

Monday, January 23, 2012

New Weigh In and TMI alert

Well, yesterday AM when I weighed in, I realized that I hadn't had any, well, "movements" recently and wondered if that would have any bearing on my weight. Well, I weighed this morning and low and behold, 251.2 - woohoo!!


Okay, well on to the weigh in:
08/22/2011:   299 (first consult with surgeon)
01/22/2012:   252
01/23/2012:   251.2
Loss           -1.6 pounds
Total loss:      47.8 pounds

After the fill this week, I'm hoping to be at 50 by the weekend!!! Wish me luck!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Crazy couple of days

I have been getting kind of lazy with my blogging. (luckily, I have a little lovie that keeps reminding me!) Anywho, I need to catch up on the last couple of days. First of all, my change of meds is not going as smoothly as I was hoping. I'm sleeping heavy, which is good, except that I could sleep all the time. I'm also getting headaches and am starting to notice some moods swings. Like today, I was talking to my Dad about the topic of one of my papers for school and what he said to me kinda took me by surprise and it made me cry. And then I couldn't stop crying. I mean, it was kinda sentimental what he said to me, but it wasn't enough that I should of cried for as long as I did. Then, once the homework was over, I watched a movie and that made me cry even worse. So, I hope that his phase passes sooner than later, because next Saturday is my Dad's Surprise 75th Birthday party and I do NOT want to cry at it - it's a roast and is supposed to be funny.

Anywho, earlier in the week, work was good, the gym was great (as usual) and then my weekend was spent with my oldest (in years known) girlfriend, who graduated from college (at 33 with 5 kids) and I am so proud of her. Then we spent the day and evening together celebrating. We had such a great time. Then today, Sunday, I weighed first thing and then hit the grocery store (with a trillion other people) and then see above for the rest of the day.
Me and My Life Long Friend Jennifer

Ok, now on to my issue. I'm having my 2nd fill tomorrow. I'm starting to get nervous about it. My first one was uber-terrible, so I'm hoping that this one is better. My questions for you fine ladies are these: (answers would be greatly appreciated!!!

1. Do you eat before your appointment? Like my appt. is a 1:15, so is it safe to eat a regular lunch around noon, knowing it will be the only solids for a week?

2. Is it okay to exercise the day you get a fill or are you supposed to take it easy for a few days?

I thought I had more questions, but I'm currently drawing a blank. I will accept any words of wisdom in regards to the fill, etc. Thanks!

Also - my weigh in today: 252; which means that I lost 0.08 this week, but it's still a loss! I think that since I've been pumping more iron at the gym, that I will not be losing as fast. Hopefully, this week of liquids, mushies,etc will help to get my jump-started back.

Also, below are some pics I took of me this weekend before we went out dancing. I was pleasantly surprised about how good I felt about myself when looking at these. It's been a long time coming!!! Also, wearing heels all night, after not wearing at all for years, felt kinda like calf exercises, lol.

I will let you know how my fill went tomorrow!! Hugs!!



Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I can't believe its Wednesday already!

One thing that I hate about long weekends is having a short week afterwards. One thing I love about long weekends is having a short week afterwards. lol  Monday was great, being home all day with my weeman, but having make up and do 5 days of work/life in 4 days, well, I should have planned better.

Well, Tuesday, back to work was a good day and then last night I went to the gym after work, which is great, never a bad experience while at the gym. Afterwords, I went to my WLS Support group meeting and always, it was great! I really enjoy sitting around and chatting with other people who have had the same experiences or even better when there are people who are thinking about having the procedure.

When I first started going to the meetings before my surgery, I used to sit in the corner and hope that no one talked to me. Now, I like being active in the conversation, often inserting my 2 cents from time to time. It's never been a bitch session - where people sit around and complain about what they can't eat, etc; it's always been positive. I've actually made friends with a couple of the girls there and had lunch with one of them today. I told her that next time we need to meet and go for a walk, or something, something that doesn't involve food.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Busy Week

Well, this is my first week of changing my meds. So far, so good. One side effect is that the change of meds will make you sleepy, and luckily, it has only made me sleepy at night. So, for the past week, I have slept better than I have in years. I'm hoping that eventually when I'm off this stuff, maybe I can get some goooood sleep!

Speaking of meds, I had to get my son's meds adjusted as well for his ADHD. Today was the first day on the new dosage and I've noticed a difference already.  Also, he had been complaining of headaches, so before I concluded that it was his meds, I took him yesterday for an eye appointment. Well, he wanted me to get mine checked too so that he would see what was happening, so I did. Low and behold, my vision has gotten better. Normally, I'm blind as a bat with reallllly near-sightedness and astigmatisms, well the Doc said that both the near-sightedness and the astigmatisms have gotten better, therefore I got a new RX, therefore I HAD to get new, sassy, Vera Wang glasses!! I also got lenses for my old glasses, cause I've always wanted to have a regular pair and a going out pair! I will post pics soon! Anywho, my son had his checked and sure enough, he needed glasses too. Except, that he's farsighted - he can see really far away, but his little eyes can't focus quick enough and that is what was causing the headaches, so hopefully this will help him!!

Also, while we were killing time for our glasses to be finished, I ran over to the TJ Maxx and looked for a smaller pair of pants for work. When I started this journey, I was in a 22/24 rounding out into a 26. Well, I ended up buying an 18 - yes, an 18 - three and a half sizes SMALLER than what I was wearing 3 months ago - I was giddy, right there in the dressing room! It was so funny, but honestly, I almost cried I was so happy.

Okay, well on to the weigh in:
08/22/2011:   299 (first consult with surgeon)
12/25/2011:   256.8
01/01/2012:   255.2
01/15/2012:   252.4
Loss           -2.8 pounds

Woohoo - SO close to my 50 pound mark, I can smell it!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Some before and now's for ya....notice how my smile is the only thing getting bigga!





Tough couple of weeks

Well, I saw my primary care doctor, and she too was very happy with my weight loss! It's so much nicer to be high-fived, than griped at about my weight!! A year ago, I was seeing several different doctors, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. They determined that I had Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, a Vitamin D deficit. Well, with all that came a bone scan, sleep study, umpteen dozen blood tests and for them all to just tell me: if you lose weight, you will feel better. Well, damn it all to hell, if they all weren't right? So, one of the other things that they put me on was Cymbalta, for the depression and to help with the pain. Well, it did, however, I'm ready to try life without meds. So I spoke with her about getting off the meds and she is helping me to wean off of it. (I've heard that there are some crazy withdrawal side effects, so I'm not looking forward to that!) So, we are reducing my dose and alternating the lower doses, and then after about 3-4 weeks, I will start on something not as heavy, something that will treat just the depression. This is a stepping stone, however, for me hopefully being AD free in one year!

What do you think? Are any of you on any AD meds? If so, can I ask what you take?

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Belated Three-Month Bandiversary!!

Well, Friday was my Three Month Bandiversary and I decided to "come out" about my Band on Facebook. Well, it didn't turn out like I had hoped. But, I knew that there would be people who wouldn't understand, or people who would think it was a drastic move to lose weight, but I never thought any one of my "friends" would say that I was "cheating". Well, someone did. And then I turned to some of my greatest pals and I was reminded how great the decision was that I made and how much better my life has become in just three short months! I am now imagining how wonderful life will be in three more months...and then three more after that!! Between that one Negative Nelly and all you fantabulous ladies whom I am sharing this journey with, I am more determined than ever to break my records!  With that said, here is my post-anniversary weigh in loss:

An Old '45

a Colt 45

a 45 pound weight.....are you seeing a pattern yet?

Yes, that's right - 45 pounds!! Whew! Three months of hard work has paid off - 45 pounds gone, only 75 more to go and I'm at my goal!!! Woohoo!!!

Also, in regards to the Journey Ring that I bought for myself - I have decided to keep my initial goal and I will give myself  (or allow myself to wear it) when I have reached my half-way point!! That will be at 60 pounds! And, if I keep going the way I'm going, I'm hoping to have it by Valentine's day! That's 15 pounds in just over 5 weeks....hmm...that sounds a little harder than I thought, now that I'm saying it out loud.....well, fingers crossed, that's what it will be!

Also, I'm happy to report that I am accompanying a really good girl friend of mine to a WLS Seminar on Monday. She's proud of me and my results and is thinking of taking the plunge herself. 

Well, I hope ya'll have a great Sunday and an even better week!

Hugs!!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Oh Emm Gee, Part Deuce

Well, after hearing that comment, I did some soul searching and talked to a few people and I answered very nicely and politely and explained that the band is not a magic bullet. That I worked my ass off to lose those pounds the last three months. Then, I started to realize that I didn't need her approval and then I thought about my mini-mantra:


When I then posted this same saying on my page, and the same girl messaged me and asked me to send her some info on the Lap Band.

So, this made me realize that people are going to be people, ignorant and all. I learned something today, and feel stronger because of it!

Thanks for your support! You all ROCK!!!

Oh Emm Gee

I have just experienced, "well, you cheated by having a Lap Band" comment....PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me with a come back....I'm at a loss for words!? <nearly in tears>

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Still have lots of work to do....

...and I'm not talking about the weight loss. I've been reading this book, that I read so many rave reviews on and now I'm not so sure. I'm crying and mad at the same time. But the truth does hurt and suck at the same time! It's called "Eat it Up! The complete mind/body/spirit guide to a full life after weight loss surgery" by Connie Stapleton, PhD. (http://www.eatitupbook.com/) It is more spiritual than I thought it would be, but that's okay, because I need some help in that department too. But as I'm reading it, I'm feeling a bit conflicted. I purchased this book for my Kindle and have been reading it every chance I get. So, I'm at my son's karate lesson tonight, listening to the key-ops and reading my book when I start feeling  myself getting sorta angry. Like I agree with what I reading, but I'm not liking it; but I continue reading. Then, it's nearing the end of his class and there are people coming in for the next class and there are 3 seats left. One to my left and two to my right. One kid sits on the chair to my far right, but there are 2 other kids waiting to sit down. The one sitting to my far right starts laughing and then the two boys go and sit on the floor. ON THE FLOOR. Because they obviously don't want to sit next to me. So then, just to test my theory, I get up and move to the empty chair to my left, and then both boys hop up really quick to grab the chair that is now to my far right, almost fighting over who gets to sit down. The the last boy MOVES the chair next to me AWAY from me so he can sit down!? WTF?! I'm not contagious?! I'm not sure if my emotions are a wreck because of this book or I'm just being over sensitive, but come on. Well, enough about that.

Please check out the book I listed above and tell me what you think. OR, suggest another book that you have read that would help me become the "whole" package. I feel that my weight loss is coming along as expected and I would like to start working on my self esteem and the reason I gained all the weight in the first place, so that once I reach my goal, I can stay at it.

On another note, I found myself telling a co-worker, who I don't work with directly, but on the same campus, about my band and it was so exhilarating! BUT, again, I found myself rubbing my belly when describing it - I don't get why I do that! LOL Well, any who, tomorrows Friday and I'm glad the weekend is here! I've overwhelmed with school work and work work and home-work and I'd like to rest, and just sit in the peace and quiet. My son is going to his Dad's this weekend, so hopefully I can find some solace.

Night ya'll!

PS - early weigh in tomorrow am for my 3 month bandiversary!!! Can't believe it's been three months already!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Oopsie, forgot to mention my weigh in yesterday....

12/25/2011:   256.8
01/01/2012:   255.2
Loss           -1.6 pounds - and for the Holidays being here, I'll take it!!!

I will be so glad when I go back to work, so I can get back in schedule and start hitting the gym again regularly!!!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The first day of 2012

Well, I didn't make it to watch the "ball drop" in NYC. I ended up in bed and asleep by 11:30. But, I did get a good nights sleep and woke up in 2012 feeling good!!

Since then, I've been doing a lot of thinking. My Dad and his Mom (Grandma) had a New Years day tradition. They would go fishing, and even if they didn't catch anything, they would at least "get the hook wet". Well, today my son, father and I went fishing. We had such a great time. We caught a lot of fish, however, we just put them all back in the water. None of them were big enough to keep. Anyway, while I was there, watching the water flow, I was thinking. Something that I tend to do too much of.

First of all, I am 100% better than I was last year, this time. But why am I still suffering from such terrible depression? I don't have the physical pain of it any longer (thank God!), but I'm still getting depressed and feeling so inadequate.

On another, brighter note - I have been reading all of your posts and noticed that everyone has picked a word that you are going to use to help you carry on, on your journey. I need a word.

Well, with many different words scoured, I found this one:


First reason: The "Southern" definition of Grits is: Girls Raised In The South

Second reason: Webster defines Grit as: (pay special attention to the bold/italic phrases and words)


grit:  noun \ˈgrit\
Definition of GRIT
1: a : sand, gravel; b : a hard sharp granule (as of sand); also : material (as many abrasives) composed of such granules.
2: any of several sandstones
3:a : the structure of a stone that adapts it to grinding; b : the size of abrasive particles usually expressed as their mesh
4: firmness of mind or spirit : unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger

Related to GRIT
Synonyms: backbone, constancy, fiber, fortitude, grittiness, guts, intestinal fortitude, pluck, spunk


My Loves

My Loves
JJ and Jack!