Sunday, August 26, 2012

Weekly Weigh in and blah, blah,

Weekly Weigh in: (This is my 46th week! 6 more weeks and I'm 1 year out!)

08/22/2011: 299.9 (first consult with surgeon)
10/06/2011: 284 (weight at surgery date)
08/19/2012: 216.8
08/26/2012: 215.6
Loss: -1.2 pounds in ONE week!
Total Loss: 84.3

Wow - I lost over a pound this week - I've very proud of myself! I only got to go to the gym once this week, because I usually go on Monday and I wanted to pick up my son from school on his first day to see how it went! But I was able to get in a really long power walk on Thursday! It wasn't supposed to be a 'power' walk, but it's starting to get darker earlier now and out walk home from karate class was really dark and I swear there was an owl chasing us, lol.

I promised that I was going to blog more often, finding time each morning when I get to work, but I just haven't had time. I usually walk in, get coffee and start checking emails - creature of habit, I'm afraid. BUT, I've broken (almost) all of my old bad habits, so perhaps I can change this habit into a good one.

Speaking of old habits dying hard, I've been back in therapy again the last few weeks. I really feel that it's helping me. I only have a few more weeks of free sessions, so I have to make the best of it! She told me about this book to read, which is helping with the negative feelings. It's called, "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr. David Burns. He's written several books with similar titles, so if you look into it, make sure it's the 'handbook' one. The Ph.D. has also been giving me some hypnosis therapy, with along with the other things, I'm really starting to feel better. However, one big thing I find myself doing is trying to keep myself really busy. Which, normally isn't a bad thing, but I'm almost done with school and I find myself signing up for something else that is going to take a lot of time out of my life. Damn it, I want a life! Why do I keep obligating myself to things that take so darn long to finish. I will be graduating from college (at 34) in December and here I am, saying that I will attend another certificate course, which isn't the hard part, but will require a ONE YEAR internship before I can put the certificate to use and make money. WTH am I thinking?! Perhaps an interesting man will appear in my life before then, and I can spend time with him instead of finding things to keep me constantly unavailable.

Anywhoozle, it's late on Sunday and I'm ready for bed! I had a ton of homework to finish this weekend, so I didn't get my time to get outside and sweat, so I'm feeling a little sleepy. I'm going to get a good night's sleep, and if willing, get to the gym tomorrow!!

Hope everyone has a good evening!!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Happy Monday and First Day of School!

Happy Monday!! Today was my wee man's first day of fourth grade! I can't believe he's a big, bad 4th grader!!
This post is going to be short - busy day today! Here's a collage of the pics from last year's first day of school and this year's first day of school! I'm wow'd by the difference!! I hope everyone has a great day!!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Weekly Weigh in and an Epiphany of sorts!

Weekly Weigh in: (This is my 45th week! 7 more weeks and I'm 1 year out!)

08/22/2011: 299.9 (first consult with surgeon)
10/06/2011: 284 (weight at surgery date)
08/05/2012: 218.4
08/19/2012: 216.8
Loss: -1.6 pounds in two weeks!
Total Loss: 83.1 pounds

The loss has been soooo slow lately! I'm starting to get really frustrated. I've changed my caloric intake and started working out more, but this past week has been a fail because my son has been sick. Some things just take precedent! Anywho, I'm 45 weeks out and have 7 more weeks until my 1 year Bandiversary! I wanted to be in One-derland by then, but I'm not sure I'm going to make it. At this stage, I'd have to lose 2.4 pounds a week and I just don't think I can do it! BUT, that doesn't mean that I won't try like hell to do it! The past couple of weeks have been eye-opening for me! I've had some old friends come back into my life, whom I haven't seen in years, and the positive compliments that I received from them, help to prove to myself that I've really done - I've come THIS far! My friends and family that have been with me the whole time, their words are kind and motivating, but to see someone that I haven't seen in years, well, their reactions speak volumes to my self-esteem! With that being said, there are 2 people, very near and dear to me (or at least are supposed to be) and they have NOT commented about my loss AT ALL! Not once in the last 45 weeks! And one of those two people is my very own sibling - my brother. But, like friends that I have had for a lifetime say, they never saw the weight, they just saw 'me'. Well, I'm not sure how, because that weight was me for so long.

Onto another subject, I've been back into therapy, just temporarily. There therapist that I had been seeing stopped taking my insurance, so I couldn't afford to go see her anymore, but my job has a program that allows me to see one of the Ph.D's on campus, so I have been going for the last 2 weeks. We are trying some positive reinforcement hypnosis. I'm trying to get my brain to catch up with my body. It seems to be helping some, because TOM is here and I'm still feeling pretty positive. I'm looking forward to a few more weeks of the hypnosis to see if I can 'catch up'. It's been a long time coming!

One of the friends that has come back into my life was a former supervisor at my former job. She retired years before I left, then moved away. She's back and is such a positive influence! We've had dinner twice and then we went out to a fairly new bar in town, which was a new experience for me. At our first reunion dinner, we decided that we needed to go out and celebrate our new 'found freedoms'. So, we planned to go out for a night on the downtown square with dinner and then dancing. The day we planned to go out, I spent hours going through my closet to find something to wear. I ended up wearing an outfit, that I thought was pretty cute! I took a pic, but it's blurry and does no justice! I wore a silver, shimmery tank (dress) that used to be a shirt, many pounds ago, but paired with a short jacket, it looked like a dress! Then I added some tight black leggings, to show off my awesome calves that I've been working on, and then my shiny black platforms shoes! I felt like a million bucks!! And when I walked into the restaurant, my friend was waiting at the door and she said that when I walked in, I was glowing! She said that I looked amazing! She has no idea how much that little comment helped me!

After we left dinner, we walked across the square to the new bar. I may have forgotten to mention that the bouncer at this club is a former 'friend with benefits' of mine. We have a long history together and he hadn't seen me in about 7 months. He wasn't at the door when we walked in, but as I walked to the bar, I made eye contact with him and he did a double-take. Then, while waiting for our drinks at the bar, he walked over and was almost stuttering while trying to talk to me! He said to me, "well, hello gorgeous!" and then hugged me and then told me how wonderful I looked, and then hugged me again. I introduced him to my friend, which they already know each other, but it's been years and they don't remember. But at that moment in time, I think I could hear my self-esteem growing. I'm really going to have to get used to the positive attention that I am receiving. I just want to stay grounded and make sure that I don't fall off the deep end, if that makes sense!

Anywho, I realllllly want to start blogging more often, because I feel so much better afterwards and all you ladies help to keep me in check! So, I'm trying to set aside 15 minutes a day for myself, first thing in the morning, and I hope to blog that entire 15 minutes. Fingers-crossed, you will be seeing a blog from me in the am!

Oh, I almost forgot to mention, school starts tomorrow!! YAY!! I love the summer with my son, but I love it even more when school starts and I don't have to worry where he is going to be for the day, etc. etc. Every morning of the first year of school, we take a picture together on the front walk way in front of our house. I am excited for this years picture, to compare to last years, to see how far we've come!

Well, I hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday and I will 'see' you all tomorrow!!

Peace, Love & Hugs!!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Weekly Weigh in and 10 Month Bandiversary!

Weekly Weigh in:

08/22/2011: 299.9 (first consult with surgeon)
10/06/2011: 284 (weight at surgery date)
07/29/2012: 219.4
08/05/2012: 218.4
Loss: -1 pounds in one week!
Total Loss: 81.5

First and foremost, I decided to change it up a bit and increased my caloric intake according to what the website said (see previous post) and low and behold, it helped and I lost another pound this week. I feel that I'm not as hungry and that I have more energy. I think it was because I was eating the amount of calories of someone who doesn't exercise but I was exercising like a madwoman! SO, lets see if I can keep the numbers going. I will keep you posted!

Secondly, today is the day before my 10 month Bandiversary, so I took some pics. I look at myself and I can't believe the transformation.

Also, as a present to myself for reaching 80 pound loss, I got some new ink. I wanted something small, straight to the point that would keep me motivated, to keep me going, but also reminding me where I've been. Whatcha' think?

My Loves

My Loves
JJ and Jack!