Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Questions, need to know I'm not alone!

Hello all. Happy Humpday!! So, I made some pretty yummy recipes for Memorial Day weekend, and one of them was a Cucumber Salad with fresh cukes, onions, cherry tomatoes with a cider vinegar/olive oil dressing and let me tell you what - that made me feel reallllly icky!! Do you think it was the cukes or onions? or maybe even the dressing? It hurt so bad, I thought for sure that my band had slipped or something. I took a gas pill just in case and no relief; I couldn't eat anything for the rest of the day and I was 'running' like crazy. So, I thought maybe it was just me and then decided to try again yesterday and ate some more of the salad - whoa - it was DEF the salad and now I'm miserable at work.

Do you have any trouble with cucumbers? onions?

Is there anything else that you cannot eat? besides the obvious bread, rice, etc.

It's Workout Wednesday for me today and I'm looking forward to going to the gym and sweating!!

Also, I'm planning on going somewhere this weekend to wear my new bathing suit, so I will post pics so you can see the one I chose!

How ya'll have a good week and thanks in advanced for your advice!!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Finally - Weekly Weigh in and Updates

First and foremost, let's get the weigh in done.

08/22/2011: 299.9 (first consult with surgeon)
04/14/2012: 233.6
04/28/2012: 231.2
05/20/2012: 230.2
05/26/2012: 229.2
Loss -4.4 pounds in just over 6 weeks - I'm not really  happy about the progress, but I knew that I would hit the plateau sometime. Glad to be back on track, hopefully.
Total loss: 70.7 pounds!!!


I've been back in the gym on my normal routine now. I've been writing down what I've been eating, at least during the week and trying to get more protein in my diet. I see progress, so I'm going to continue on this path.

On another note, the bathing suit I ordered from Old Navy came in. I ordered their 1x, which is a 16-18. I tried it on - and IT FIT GREAT!!! I will be washing that bad boy and wearing him the next outing we have to the beach. I'm not where I wanna be yet, but I'm damn sure better than I was!!!

I've also been on a mission to find me some new clothes, work and otherwise. I have found some great buys for work clothes, but they are all black or dark colors. It's almost summer damn it, I need some color. So, my Mom and I went yard-saling, hoping to find something and nothing. So, we hit up the local Ross store, and I found myself in a dilemma. I went straight for the 3x-4x, 24/26/28 section. My mother was quick to remind me that that is her size, not my size and I needed to mosey on down to my size. (I'm trying to get my Mom on the 'band' wagon, because she isn't feeling good and needs to lose some also)

It hit me - what is my size?! Some of the stuff I have is 16-18, some even 20's and I started looking at some of the smaller sizes, even going to the ladies section (instead of women's plus) and I felt out of place. I felt like people were looking at me, wondering why I was shopping that section of clothes that were obviously too small for my big butt. My Mom came over to see what I had found and she asked me why I was looking around crazy and I said that I was feeling self conscious, like people were looking at me wondering why I was looking in that section. Does this feeling ever go away? Will I ever "feel my size"?

Well, enough of that - it's Memorial Day weekend and all of my homework is done, I've got lots of goodies to fix, healthy stuff and some not so healthy stuff, but I enjoy trying new healthy recipes, that my parents and son enjoy too. Makes me feel all warm in fuzzy inside to know that they are secretly eating healthy stuff that tastes good.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Monday, May 21, 2012


I have finally lost a pound. A whole pound. Whew. I was beginning to think I was going to be stuck. I had to change my fill appointment for a week later and I was getting more and more depressed by the day for the lack of movement. I'm now 0.03 pounds away from 70 pounds gone!! My mom asks if I'm "finished" yet or not? and I said what do you mean by finished? Finished losing weight?! Heck no! She told me that I look fine the way I am and that if I loose anymore than I'll be thin. Well, duh - I didn't do all this work and go through all of this to be just "less fat". I want to know what it feels like to be thin. To be able to walk into any store and put something to wear off the shelf. To be comfortable in my skin. Now, while all of the aforementioned things are beginning to happen, slowly, I'm not stopping now! HECK NAW!!!

With that said - I just ordered a bathing suit - from OLD NAVY!! My lovie students from last Fall got me a gift card and I hadn't spent it yet, and I happened across an ad with 25% off and free shipping. So, I took my measurements and compared and then compared the reviews and BOOM - I bought a suit! Whew!! It will be here in 7-9 days and I will be sure to share with you how it fits, or lack thereof.

TOM is nearing and therefore my bitchiness has started already. I'm tired and cranky and it's Monday and I want to go on vacation, etc, etc, etc. If only I could win the stinkin' lottery.

Oh well, until next time, toodles!!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Ten Things Thursday

I decided to join the "band" wagon and join in on the Ten Things Thursday post.

1. I really need a manicure. I purchased a Groupon for one that expires next month. Perhaps I can get in there before it expires.
2. Some things really aren't meant to be. I'm not really talking about anything in particular, I just am finding myself saying that more and more these days and felt like sharing it.
3. I am very proud of myself for taking the stand, pulling up my big girl panties and calling and making an appointment for a fill. I'm hungry damn it, and I need some restriction!
4. I have 4 more weeks of this quarter of school and then just 2 more quarters after that and I will be finished. Well, finished until I decide that I want to go and get another degree. But at least done enough that I can spend more than 2 weeks, every 11 weeks, resting and doing things that I didn't have time to do during the 11 weeks I was in school.
5. The number of times that I have stepped on the scale since Sunday. I have NOT stepped on the scale today and will not until Sunday AM.
6. TOM is going to be here next week and I can already kind of feel the symptoms coming on. Does anyone else have exaggerated mood swings post-band? I've always been moody around TOM, especially after having PPD after my son was born. I'm not sure how I didn't kill my ex-husband in his sleep when my son was an infant.
7. There are approximately 11 1/2 days left of school for my son. That scares me. I never plan ahead about what to do with him during the summer, because I play the lotto often and hope to win so that I can stay home with him. Geesh - will that ever work out?
8. During the summer, my son will turn 9. When asked what he wanted to do for his birthday, he mentioned the beach. I'm a fair-skinned, light-blue-eyed girl - the beach and I don't mix. BUT, I will do anything my little man wants for his birthday, so we are going to spend a few days at the beach.
9. The anxiety has set in for finding bathing suit, see #8.
10. Yay - I made it through my first time of Ten Things Thursday. I'm hoping to be better about blogging more often. If I didn't sit in front of a computer all day for work, then all evening for school, then I woul be more likely to post more. 26 more weeks and I will have more time to blog! YAY!!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Decision Time

Whoa - two posts in one week - it's been a while. Welp, I made a decision. One good, one bad. The bad first - I was going to go to my support group meeting last night after the gym, but then my son got in trouble at school and felt that I needed to do a little intervention with him, because that one on one seems to work better than any grounding ever would. So, while I feel guilty for skipping, I suppose it was for the greater good. The good decision has 2 parts: Part 1 - Since my Son goes to his Dad's on Wednesday night, I've decided to hit the gym tonight instead! Part 2 - I just made an appointment for a fill for June 11. That was the closest one that they had. But, that gives me time to work out the payment situation. Whew. Knowing that I have that appointment helps me a ton. I'm now feeling much better about things. I stepped on the scale this morning and still nothing, so I'm not stepping back on the scale until Sunday, for my old "usual" weigh in day. No more mid-week weigh ins! Done!

Also, I've gotten several comments with some great breakfast ideas - keep 'em coming! I'm looking for something more than my protein shakes. I knew the day would come when I had to actually fix something for breakfast and I couldn't just pop open an Atkins shake - meh - better late than never, I suppose.

Have a good rest of the week!!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Frozen in time!

Sorry I haven't been "here" in a while.....I've been feeling so depressed lately. I haven't lost a single 'new' pound. I knew that this day would come, I just didn't realize it would be this soon. I thought I would have hit 70 pounds by now. I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything else going on and this is just adding insult to injury. It's nearing the end of the school year for my son, so I'm worrying about what I'm going to do with him during the summer. It's nearing the end of my quarter for my school and I have research papers due and have to start getting things ready for the next quarter and hopefully the quarter after next will be my last one! Then, there's always things going on at work, new students coming in, old ones leaving. If only stress burned calories!

I started back at the gym last week, went 2 days. I plan on continuing my old schedule of twice a week. I enjoy the me time, but I get home later and then my son says he's missed me and makes me feel guilty for going. Ugh - I just can't win.

Plus, I'm getting hungry all the time and I think I might need another fill, but I'm still paying off my hospital bill and bill for my surgeon and feel guilty about going in and just adding more money to the bill. My insurance didn't pay for my 2nd fill, so I'm having to make arrangements to pay that off. Or maybe, it's my breakfast that's not working any more. I've been drinking a protein shake during the week for breakfast since my surgery. At home on the weekends, I have a bowl of cereal, or eggs or something, but on the week days, it's a shake. And like now, it's 12:30 and I could gnaw my arm off, if only I had some BBQ sauce at work. Ugh.

So, here's where I need ya'lls help. What do you eat for breakfast? Fill or not to fill? What can I do to get my weight loss a jump start? Perhaps I should go to my support group meeting this week - that might help too!

Well, I think I'm done ranting for today and think it's time to feed my case of the Mondays.

I hope you all have a fabulous week!!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Bad couple of weeks

I spent a lot of time at the hospital, and finally Hospice with my dear friend and on May 1st, he lost his battle, while surrounded by his kids and closest friends and family, me included. Watching him slip away was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. He was only 44 years old - too young to have gone through so much. Needless to say, I haven't had a lot of time or effort to think about myself or my struggles and the scale can prove it. It has moved, but up instead of down and I am terribly upset about it. One good thing out of all of this is that I actually made it back to the gym this week and boy did it feel good. All the sweating, and the fact that I was finally alone helped. I thought I was going to have a hard time, but it just came back to me, like riding a bike. I wasn't able to just pop back in where I left off, because I got a little winded, but give me a week or two and I'll be back to my old routine.

This week is also tough for me because it is gradation  and my students are leaving me. I always tell myself that I'm not going to get attached so it will be easy to let them go, and then this always happens. I had to go shopping to find something to wear to gradation because everything I have is too big!! Not that I'm complaining, just wish I had a credit card with no limit, that someone else would pay - in the perfect world, right? Well, at least I was able to use the giftcard that my current class gave me and I'm happy that I get to wear what I bought to watch them walk - I'm so proud!!!

Hopefully, next week can get back to "normal", whatever that is. It's the beginning of the Summer semester, so it will be quiet for a week or two, so I hope to get my eating back in order and my gym visits regular too!

I've missed you ladies and while I don't always comment on your posts, I do read your posts every day!!

Take care!!

BTW, Reuben, I love you and I'm so proud of you!! Thanks again for all of your help along the way!!!

My Loves

My Loves
JJ and Jack!