Decision Time

Whoa - two posts in one week - it's been a while. Welp, I made a decision. One good, one bad. The bad first - I was going to go to my support group meeting last night after the gym, but then my son got in trouble at school and felt that I needed to do a little intervention with him, because that one on one seems to work better than any grounding ever would. So, while I feel guilty for skipping, I suppose it was for the greater good. The good decision has 2 parts: Part 1 - Since my Son goes to his Dad's on Wednesday night, I've decided to hit the gym tonight instead! Part 2 - I just made an appointment for a fill for June 11. That was the closest one that they had. But, that gives me time to work out the payment situation. Whew. Knowing that I have that appointment helps me a ton. I'm now feeling much better about things. I stepped on the scale this morning and still nothing, so I'm not stepping back on the scale until Sunday, for my old "usual" weigh in day. No more mid-week weigh ins! Done!

Also, I've gotten several comments with some great breakfast ideas - keep 'em coming! I'm looking for something more than my protein shakes. I knew the day would come when I had to actually fix something for breakfast and I couldn't just pop open an Atkins shake - meh - better late than never, I suppose.

Have a good rest of the week!!

Frozen in time!

Sorry I haven't been "here" in a while.....I've been feeling so depressed lately. I haven't lost a single 'new' pound. I knew that this day would come, I just didn't realize it would be this soon. I thought I would have hit 70 pounds by now. I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything else going on and this is just adding insult to injury. It's nearing the end of the school year for my son, so I'm worrying about what I'm going to do with him during the summer. It's nearing the end of my quarter for my school and I have research papers due and have to start getting things ready for the next quarter and hopefully the quarter after next will be my last one! Then, there's always things going on at work, new students coming in, old ones leaving. If only stress burned calories!

I started back at the gym last week, went 2 days. I plan on continuing my old schedule of twice a week. I enjoy the me time, but I get home later and then my son says he's missed me and makes me feel guilty for going. Ugh - I just can't win.

Plus, I'm getting hungry all the time and I think I might need another fill, but I'm still paying off my hospital bill and bill for my surgeon and feel guilty about going in and just adding more money to the bill. My insurance didn't pay for my 2nd fill, so I'm having to make arrangements to pay that off. Or maybe, it's my breakfast that's not working any more. I've been drinking a protein shake during the week for breakfast since my surgery. At home on the weekends, I have a bowl of cereal, or eggs or something, but on the week days, it's a shake. And like now, it's 12:30 and I could gnaw my arm off, if only I had some BBQ sauce at work. Ugh.

So, here's where I need ya'lls help. What do you eat for breakfast? Fill or not to fill? What can I do to get my weight loss a jump start? Perhaps I should go to my support group meeting this week - that might help too!

Well, I think I'm done ranting for today and think it's time to feed my case of the Mondays.

I hope you all have a fabulous week!!

Bad couple of weeks

I spent a lot of time at the hospital, and finally Hospice with my dear friend and on May 1st, he lost his battle, while surrounded by his kids and closest friends and family, me included. Watching him slip away was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. He was only 44 years old - too young to have gone through so much. Needless to say, I haven't had a lot of time or effort to think about myself or my struggles and the scale can prove it. It has moved, but up instead of down and I am terribly upset about it. One good thing out of all of this is that I actually made it back to the gym this week and boy did it feel good. All the sweating, and the fact that I was finally alone helped. I thought I was going to have a hard time, but it just came back to me, like riding a bike. I wasn't able to just pop back in where I left off, because I got a little winded, but give me a week or two and I'll be back to my old routine.

This week is also tough for me because it is gradation  and my students are leaving me. I always tell myself that I'm not going to get attached so it will be easy to let them go, and then this always happens. I had to go shopping to find something to wear to gradation because everything I have is too big!! Not that I'm complaining, just wish I had a credit card with no limit, that someone else would pay - in the perfect world, right? Well, at least I was able to use the giftcard that my current class gave me and I'm happy that I get to wear what I bought to watch them walk - I'm so proud!!!

Hopefully, next week can get back to "normal", whatever that is. It's the beginning of the Summer semester, so it will be quiet for a week or two, so I hope to get my eating back in order and my gym visits regular too!

I've missed you ladies and while I don't always comment on your posts, I do read your posts every day!!

Take care!!

BTW, Reuben, I love you and I'm so proud of you!! Thanks again for all of your help along the way!!!

Ugh - Another week!

I feel like time is slipping away. The weeks feel like they creep on and then next thing you know, bam, it's Sunday!! This has been a very stressful week for me. TOM is here - ugh - and the drama that "he" brings! Also, a very dear friend of mine is in the hospital and he isn't doing well at all. He's too young to have all of the problems that he's having and then he doesn't really take care of himself like he should, so that just steals even more time away from his life. He used to live on the road behind us, for years, and he has two wonderful kids that have turned into great young adults. And I know that he has been through so much, and now he's not really responsive and has had 2 strokes and another heart attack. He was in septic shock when the ambulance came and got him; and then tests showed that his kidneys are failing from the diabetes and lack of circulation. All this and he's only 45. Looking at this situation is just another reason why I chose to have the Lapband surgery to help me become a healthy person for my son. It's not JUST about being fat my whole life, it's about being unhealthy. I want to be around to torment my son for a very long time!!

I took a picture today with my friend's kids and then I remembered a picture that we took last year at his son's graduation party. I pulled it up and whoa, I was surprised. Also, I ran into a few people at the hospital while visiting my friend and they almost didn't recognize me. I haven't been around my friends little group of friends for a while and they were surprised to see me. Here's the pics:

Another week down - geesh - where does the time go?

I feel that every day takes forever to pass, and then next thing you know, a whole week is gone. Where does the time go? I'm not sleeping well again, so I guess I'm counting down the day until I can go to sleep and then before I know it, the week is gone. I hope this not sleeping again is temporary - I'm really starting feel it and when I feel it, then others around me will begin to feel it! I was busy doing homework all weekend, so I feel even worse about the whole sleeping thing - it's so easy to nod off while reading and when it's raining outside, it's even easier! I forgot to weigh in this weekend, because I know I've made too many bad choices and didn't want to see what the scale had to say, but I weighed this am and I'm down a whole pound, so I guess that's not too bad. I'm hitting the gym tomorrow, come hell or high water! I'm tired of being tired and when I was going to the gym regularly, I felt great - time to get back on that horse!

On another note, I had someone at my son's school not recognize me when I went to pick him up and she asked me for my ID and when I showed her my license, she didn't believe that it was me - she said that I've changed sooo much! I thought to myself, if you only knew!! I suppose that should be listed as a "Non-Scale Victory!"

Welp, let's get this Monday thing started!! Hope you all have a great week!

Weekly Weigh in and Busy Week ahead

I went canoeing this weekend with my Dad, which is something I would NEVER had been able to do 6 months ago! I was so proud of myself, but I am SO sore today! No pain, no gain, right?

Also - on Friday, I posted a before and now picture on my FB and let me tell you, the responses were crazy! I had 72 "likes" and 34 comments. It sure boosted my ego a bit!! Here's the pic:

Also, I weighed this weekend: Here's the results:


08/22/2011: 299.9 (first consult with surgeon)
03/28/2012: 237
04/14/2012: 233.6
Loss -3.4 pounds in just over 2 weeks - I'll take it!!
Total loss: 66.3 pounds!!!

I surpassed 65 and am heading right on down to the big 70!!!

One lucky gal!!

I don't know about you ladies, but I am one lucky gal! Through this journey that we all are taking, we have a person, or people, who cheer us on, and keep us motivated. I am lucky because I have 2 personal cheerleaders! First and foremost, of course, is my son JJ. He is the apple of my eye - he hangs the moon! He is the reason I'm taking this journey in the first place; and I also have my parents, but their cheering is of a different sort. But, secondly, I have one person that I can always count on, someone that has been there beside me, literally, since just before my surgery. She reads all my blogs, constantly comes to visit me and compliments me and congratulates me on all of my mini-goals. She is one of my students, but she has become a really great friend and I just love her!

Her name is Reuben! That's not her real name, obviously, it's a nickname that I recently gave her. Here's my shout out to her - thanks, Reuben, for sticking by me these last 6 months and even before that. I will miss you when you graduate next month, so I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you!!

Reuben and Me!