Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Rant - PMS alert!!

I'm not sure if I'm just over sensitive, but I have a bone to pick with people. Not any of you wonderful ladies, of course, but other people. Why does it seem that big girls are INVISIBLE?! I've worked so hard to lose weight my whole life and I finally made to the decision to be banded. I've been banded almost 2 months, lost 32 pounds and 13 inches, but yet I'm invisible?! I weigh 267 pounds dammit! I'm NOT invisible.  Where am I getting this from? let me break it down for you: I was on my lunch break/mile walk around campus and I'm walking on a, roughly, 4 foot wide sidewalk and these three guys get out of the car and start walking in my direction. Well, I've got my ear buds in, jamming to my tunes, and I look up and the guys are walking three-wide, with no room for me to get by, but I'm still walking, thinking one of them will move so that I don't have to step off the sidewalk, into the ROAD to go around....NOPE - NOT ONE OF THEM DICKS MOVED AND I HAD TO STEP INTO THE STREET TO GO AROUND. WTF?! If I was this skinny blonde, with a mini skirt on, they probably would have dusted off the leaves for me. I just wanted to start screaming at them, but I just kept on walking....and then I started crying. WHY?! Why am I crying? I'm crying because I'm wondering, "DOES THE FEELING OF BEING INVISIBLE EVER GO AWAY?"

Well, needless to say, when I got back to my desk, I called and made an appointment with my therapist and a personal trainer. Both will help, in time.

Thanks for listening to my rant. Back to work....

3 comments:

  1. Being invisible does totally go away ~ and that is a whole 'nuther bag o worms! Suddenly I am getting all kinds of attention that I'm not used to and have to behave....:) It will come and when you do become visible it will rock!

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  2. Vanessa is right- you will be seen again and that can also bring our feelings of anger. Just try to roll with it. Feeling depressed and emotional right around this time after surgery is normal. I certainly went through it.

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  3. You will be seen again! ... but next time you run into that situation, don't step off to the side. You deserve to be on the walkway just as much as they do. Let them run into you if that's what they need to do to recognize that they're not the center of the earth and that other people matter... Like you!

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